・ S A N C T U A R Y ・

I am Me yeah Me

" As boundless as the Sea and the Sky "

Welcome to My blog~
.

The Last Day...what a press

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

wow,it's long ago that i've posted here.
giving you guys an apologize for this long pause(as you would be hating to see my blog ^^)

day passes by,birds flew die.
time passes such like a sai(sh*t)
today has passes 7 minutes.
and 23 hours 53minutes more, it's 2009..
wow..
a brand new year will be born.
and people are celebrating for that little baby(2009)

long time i didn't post blog..
and i've forgotten how to press the button-PUBLISH POST
gosh...
then i found a orange thingie below ..
and i press it...

Labels: daily dairy

"until you find me,
8:19 AM

Romance Love Story-Only Love

It's so cold today.I'm standing at my window, looking at the people moving like little dots. Standing in a heated room, I'm beginning to pity those people. Why don't they go home? Do they plan on wandering until morning?"Almost time to go home! My boyfriend must be going crazy." One of the nurses breathe a sign of relief. "Still needs to work overtime on Valentine's Day. It's so unfair!""You are fortunate." Another nurse says. "Some people don't have anyone waiting for them.""You mean Dr. Shu?"Like Sherlock Holmes, my ears perk up when I hear my name."Do you remember how she lost control on this day last year?""Of course I do." A nurse shudders. "I've never seen Dr. Shu like that. Crying and yelling, like she was crazy."They are talking about how I was last year. They are correct. I was out of control, like they said."You can't blame Dr. Shu. If my boyfriend died in front of my eyes, I would probably go crazy as well.""Keep it down. She hasn't left work yet. She might hear you."The two nurses are too late. I heard the entire conversation through the canvas wall."Dr. Shu, what are you doing standing here?"Just as I was deciding whether or not to reveal myself, another nurse exposed me. I awkwardly step out. The 2 nurses who discussed me start to blush. Their faces became redder than the bow on Valentine's Day chocolates."I'm waiting to go home." I pretend that I didn't hear anything."Dr. Shu, you must have gotten too involved in your work. It's already past time to go home. See you tomorrow. Happy Valentine's Day!" She waves goodbye."Happy Valentine's Day." I wave back and watch the 2 nurses hurry away.That's fine. I was ready to go home anyway. Even though no lover is waitingfor me, at least there's a lazy cat waiting for me to feed.After I come home, the first thing I do is feed the cat. I forgot when I first had the cat. Probably since last year's Valentine's Day. At that time, I was like an abandoned cat, with eyes filled with despair. Cats don't cry, I do. That's the only difference."Better drink all the milk or I'll skin you." I threatened the cat. Her name is Christine, my least favorite English name. I don't know why I named the cat Christine. Christine meowed once to let me know she heard me, but her eyes are complaining about my severity. Her eyes remind me of someone I used to know, standing in front of me with eyes of rebellions.An year ago today, I had lunch with my boyfriend and took the opportunity to complain to him."Today is Valentine's Day. Why didn't you give me any flowers?"He raised his eyebrow. "Why should I give you flowers? You are not my anyone.""Then... you should at least give me a card!" I pouted my lips, hurt by his tone."I know, I know. After lunch, I'll send you an e-card."E-card. That sounds so impersonal, but that's the way he is. "You have to e-mail it to me. I'll be waiting." I excitedly smiled and planned to sneak home after lunch to check e-mail. Even though he wouldn't use any romantic words, I still looked forward to the card."I can't stand you women. Why do you make such a big deal out of Valentine's Day??" He grumbled while eating his food. His comment induced me to fight with him again."You are not romantic at all!! Don't you watch any Japanese drama?""Japanese drama? I only watch Discovery Channel.""Your life is so boring." I made a face at him. "One recent drama was really good. You should have watched it.""What's that drama called?" He didn't believe in the love portrayed in TV and movies. He always thought they were lies."It's called 'Story of A Century'." I gladly answered."What kind of trashy plot did it have?""What do you mean trash?? Show some respect!" I was so angry. "That drama was very touching, and the theme song was beautiful as well. It's called 'Only Love', performed by Nana Mouskouri." I wonder if he knew who Nana was."Nana, I know her. A Greek singer with really expensive albums.""Her voice is worth it." Even though I secretly agreed with him, I couldn't bring myself to admit it."Whatever." He glanced at his watch. "I'll give you 5 minutes to tell me the plot. After that, I'm leaving."I tried hard to explain 6 hours worth of story in just 5 minutes. The drama portrayed the love stories of 3 generations of women spanning 100 years, from 1901 to 2000. Each generation was portrayed by the same actress. The story was tear-jerking."What's so touching about it?" He asked, after listening to the story."Don't you think each generation's story is wonderful? If I have such great screen writing ability, I wouldn't be a doctor anymore. I would become a screenwriter.""If you become a screenwriter, I bet no one would watch the show. The TV station can go out of business." He quickly interjected."I'm going back to work. Hurry and send me the card!" I was so mad that I went home immediately, not even finishing my coffee.As soon as I walked in my door, I turned on my computer and go online.Staring at the empty in-box, I began to reminisce about how we met. Maybe no one will believe me, but my boyfriend and I were actually neighbors. Our homes were only 1 wall away. Ever since we were kids, we liked to fight with each other all day long. I still remember when I moved to the country that year. Used to the city life, I couldn't get used to the simple life in the country. After school, I would just go home and do nothing. Whenever that happened, he would always come over to tease me."Why are you staring off into space??" He loved to pull on my hair. "You're so ugly when you're doing nothing. But you're also not pretty when you smile." In other words, I'm really ugly."You're the one who's ugly!" I pull back my hair. "If you think I'm so ugly, why do you visit me??""Can't help it. My home is right next to your home." He argued."Then I'll move!" The next day, I drew a line in the ground using some white chalk. A line that I forbid him to cross.That year, we were both in the 5th grade. We couldn't stand each other and hoped the other would move away. But 5 years passed, and neither of us moved. Not only that, we got into the same high school and into the same class."You're that infamous couple." All the students and teachers in the school would say whenever they saw us."We're not!" I always tried to explain. "We're only neighbors." At that time, I hated my parents for making us live next to him."My standard is not that low." He would say. "Who wants her to be a girlfriend?? It's not like I don't have eyes.""Yes, I know your eyes are on top of your head." I really disliked him. "Better than having eyes on the bottom of my head like you." He implied that I couldn't judge guys. At that time, I had a crush on a senior.I didn't think that his sarcasm had a hidden meaning. After a while, I found out that the senior student had lots of girlfriends. When I cried about it, he silently passed me a handkerchief and awkwardly held me in his arms."I told you he wasn't any good." He roughly comforted me. I cried in his arms the whole night, and began to see him in a different way. Things began to change between us. We still fought all the time, but he started to look at me differently. And I blushed and my heart beat faster when he was near. We both knew: we fell in love with each other.Even with this knowledge, neither of us said anything. Even though we would not be able to resist and kissed each other constantly. Even though we cared about each other's every moves. Both of us refused to admit our love.Time flew by quickly, and it was time to face separation. I chose to study medicine, and he chose physics. Yet we still couldn't separate from each other. Our parents worried that we didn't know anyone in Taipei, so they forced us to live in the same apartment building. Once again, we became neighbors. We still fought, but sometimes we fought into the bedroom. Alright, we became lovers, but we still wouldn't say we loved each other. We didn't even spend Valentine's Day together until he saw me share dinner with a man one Valentine's Day. That night, he waited for me in front of my door and said that he would take me out to dinner on Valentine's Day from then on. I have to say that he was very arrogant. But I nodded and accepted his request. Since then, we spent every Valentine's Day together. After graduation, I became an intern. He started a small computer company with some friends and became a programmer. We were busy with our own lives and had no time for a relationship. Three years later, I became a doctor, and his business began to boom. We separately moved to biggerapartments and stopped being neighbors. On the surface, we left each other. In reality, we were still together. We spent every Valentine's Day together but each year became more dreary than the next because he never told me he loved me even with all my hints. Facing the empty in-box, I suddenly grew very angry. He wouldn't say it and wouldn't send me a card. What did he mean? Who did he think I was? I called his cell phone."Hello." He picked up the phone."I didn't receive the card." I immediately showed my displeasure."You didn't receive it?" He seemed really busy. "But I sent it."He was really busy but I didn't care. "I didn't receive it. Send it again.""Okay, I'll send you 100 times. Is that good enough??" He said with impatience. His tone further infuriated me. Is that how lovers speak to each other?"Don't bother sending it to me. And you don't have to pick me up tonight.I'll eat dinner by myself.""Don't be childish, ok? I'm really busy.""I AM childish!" I hung up the phone and tears rolled down my cheeks.Childish?? Why didn't he consider the situation? We've gone out for so many years and spent countless Valentine's Day together. I never received any flowers nor cards from him. Now, I just want a little e-card. Is that too much to ask for??I unplugged the phone from the wall and turned off my cell phone. I didn't want to hear his explanations. After I returned to the hospital, I instructed the receptionist not to forward me any phone calls. I wanted to concentrate on work.Because there were so many emergencies today, I was sweating 1 hour later and forgot about our argument."Dr. Shu, please take a look at that patient."As I was collecting my equipment, the shrill sound of an ambulance sounded outside the ER. When I stepped out the door, the emergency medics hurriedly wheeled in a gurney."What happened to him?" I asked the 1st medic. Everyone else were trying to help put the patient on the gurney. He was covered with blood."Car accident." The medic replied. "Very serious. He may die."I nodded and ran to the operating room with them. When I arrived, the nurses told me that the man had already stopped breathing and also his heartbeat also stopped"Prepare for shock." I calmly instructed the nurses. Saving people is our duty. We can't lose our calm.But when I saw who laid on the operating table, I lost my calm. That person was my boyfriend!"No..." I stood in shock. "NO!!!" I grabbed the paddles and continuously shocked his body. His body bounced up and down from the shocks. The scared nurses went to find another doctor, to tell him that I was crazy.I didn't know if I was crazy or not. I just wanted to save my lover. Even though we fought all the time. Even though he never showed me his love. I still wanted to save him. He still owed me a card. He couldn't die! I threw away the paddles and began to press on his heart. I pressed with all my strength, hoping it would revive him, but he didn't wake up. He didn't even say "It hurts". He just laid there with his eyes closed, punishing me with his silence.Dr. Jian angrily pushed me away. By that time, I couldn't see clearly anymore. I cried. I wailed. I bowled until no sounds could come out of my mouth."It's too late, Dr. Shu. He's already dead. I'm sorry." Dr. Jian patted me on the shoulder. They knew each other and ate together once. I introduced them."He can't die." I shook my head. "He can't die!!" I struggled to run to him."Dr. Shu, control yourself!" Dr. Jian slapped me. "I understand what you're going through, but you're a doctor."Yes, I'm a doctor, but I'm also a regular person. How can Dr. Jian understand how I feel? I've loved him for so many years that it's become a habit. How can I just throw away a habit? Besides, he still owed me a card. "I want him to live! I want him to live!" I ran to him again and tried to knock the life back into his body."Take her away!" That day, I lost my control and my professionalism.And that day happened to be Valentine's Day.Afterwards, I asked his co-workers why he left work early that day.They told me that after I hung up the phone, he tried to call me several times but couldn't reach me. Worried, he drove to the hospital to find me and got hit by a large truck on the way.When I heard this, I froze. My tantrum killed him. Just because of an unmailed card, he died. After that, I lost my privilege to be childish.Like an abandoned cat, I couldn't even cry anymore. After his death, I couldn't cry anymore, regardless of how touching the plot or how tear-jerking the dialogue. They didn't affect me anymore.Now, I'm only left with a cat and a seldomly used computer. Stepping over the cat, I turned on the computer. Even though I know no one will send me a mail, I still hoped that someone will remember me on this day.Meow, meow. I looked at Christine to see what's wrong. She finished her milk. I went into the kitchen to get her more milk then came back to look at the computer screen.I have.... 100 emails! Who would be bored enough to send me 100 junk mail?I was just about to delete them all when I received another mail, and this one said: "Because of system error, we could not send these until today.We apologize for the delay." The sender was my ISP.I looked at the 1st mail. It showed the send date is last year's Valentine's Day. My heart began to beat fast. Could he have sent these?With a trembling hand, I opened the mail. The first thing that popped up was a gorgeous red rose set against green leaves. Then a beautiful melody began to play.... "Only Love". I couldn't believe it. The rose was so beautiful and the music was so dreamy. I almost thought I was in a fantasy. Most touching of all were the words underneath the rose, because the words read like a beautiful poem."Hwei."That's my name."Knowing you so many years, I've never sent you any flowers. Today I send you a rose."I received it and it's so beautiful."You know we are always fighting. We can never really open our hearts and tell each other how we feel."Yes, but it's all your fault for being so distant."I know I always make you mad by the things I say."Good that you're admitting it."But today I want to say to you: I'm sorry, and I love you."I waited so many years for those words."And I want to tell you a good news. I finally saved enough money."You already have enough money. Why did you need so much?"So Hwei, let's get married!! I was afraid to propose to you, because I didn't trust in my ability to give you the good life you deserve. But now I've saved enough money so we don't have to wait anymore."Who wanted you to wait? I'm already yours."Today, I use this card to propose to you. Will you marry me, Hwei? Will you?"That's the content of the whole card. Like a fool, I kept reading his words and talking to him. It's like I can hear his voice and see him again.As if it's back to 1 year ago with us constantly fighting.The song played over and over. Repeating Nana's heartbreaking voice.Only love can make a memory. Only love can make a moment last. You were there and all the world was young and all it's songs unsung. and I remember you then when love was all, all you were living for,and how you gave that love to me...."The lyrics of this song fits our love so closely. When he was alive, my world was so young. Every day, I could find a something different to fight with him about. But after he left, my life is only left with memories and coldness that will never go away."Will you marry me?"When I read these words, my tears unconsciously came, wetting the keyboard.Will I? If he's in front of me, I will definitely kick him and call him a big fool. If I wasn't willing, I wouldn't have waited until today.So I moved the cursor over the "Reply" box, and typed the response that I've already prepared for so many years - "I will."I will - be by his side for the rest of my life. I will - fight with him forever. That is how I answered him, but the only response I got was the repeating song "Only Love."Nevertheless, I opened every single letter, accepted every singled rose, and typed the same response: "I will."I replied 100 times, and "Only Love" played 100 times. In this cold Valentine's night, the line that's been broken for 1 year finally got reconnected.I answered you. What about you?

Labels: Stories

"until you find me,
8:03 AM

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Tonight..
6 P.m.
there , inside my heart .

will Rain..

"until you find me,
4:57 PM

you know..

Monday, December 22, 2008

you know..
there was a little Samsung,he miss his girlfriend .
on 20th dec morning 5a.m. his girlfriend's owner went to korea .
so she can't reply the little samsung.
pity for little samsung.his girlfriend wears pink everyday,and hang some cuttie thingie aroung with her !
his girlfriends saw his msg,he know.
but she just can't reply.

you know..
there was a boy,he miss his girlfriend .
on 20th dec morning 5a.m. his girlfriends went to korea .
so she can't use her phone to reply he.
pity for the boy.his girlfriend were cute,and hang a smile on her face everyday !
his girlfriends won't saw his msg that he sent at night,he know.
but he just can't stop pressing the 'sent' button on his phone.

Labels: daily dairy, Stories

"until you find me,
1:42 AM

Friday, December 19, 2008

我真的很该死。。
真的。。

早上四点凌晨就醒来了
为了是和雨天传短讯。。
雨天要去韩国了

‘我会想念妳的’
‘我也是..’

已经是接近五点了
雨天要出发了
我突然想要写很长的短讯
写完后
就传出去
可是在我的‘收信箱’里已有雨天的新信讯
那是一封再见的信息
我当时呆了

我真的很该死
很该死

连再见都没说一声
都不知道雨天有没有看到我的信息

对不起

"until you find me,
7:33 PM

Sunday, December 14, 2008

风，的声音
无味的五楼
部落格的音乐

早上起身，哥以坐在电脑前了
喂，几点了，我问了他

‘十’

拿起手机
按了发送，才发现电话里的现金还剩八块左右，可是已过期了
冲完凉，说说话，已是十一点了
换了衣，拿起摩托帽
跳上哥的摩托
就去吃我们的午餐

吃着泰国超辣鸡饭，可是感觉上，辣的程度只有一或二
并不是我不怕辣或厚脸皮
只是那鸡饭真的是不辣

吃完后
哥提议去打个保龄球
我也同意

坐在摩托上
哥的时速是五十左右
突然，我听见

风，的声音

感觉像风在和我们赛跑
不久我们也到达了
停车后，就用电梯上五楼去
我和哥说，我要买进钱卡
就从五楼向下一楼一楼的找电话店
就在三楼买了进钱卡
就一楼一楼的上去
上到五楼
走进保龄球场
已是十二点多了
哪儿的工作人员却和我们说还没开始营业
靠
哪儿写着十二点开始营业
算了

无味的五楼

踏进电梯，按了 LG
坐上摩托

哥送我回家就去读书了
现在
我就坐在电脑前
听着

部落格的音乐

看了我这无聊的文章
相信你现在已向你的床飞跳过去了
没办法
我的假期就是如此的无聊
有些人
把假期的时间都用在打电脑
是怎样打我就不知道
或是都在和朋友逛街
如何逛我也不清楚
闷在家里也有

我只知道我现在很闷
去打电动咯！
哈哈。。。

。假期。。。。。。。。。。。

Labels: daily dairy

"until you find me,
9:11 PM

愿望

Friday, December 5, 2008

如果有一天
神在你生命中突然出现
就那一分钟
祂给了你一个愿望
而那愿望的重点是
这个愿望只能让你选择[你希望什么是不变的]，而不是让你选择你可以追到谁或是让谁爱上你，还是拾到几万块之类的愿望。

你会希望什么东西在你的生命中不会变

不介意的话
留个言告诉我啦!

Labels: Check this out

"until you find me,
7:27 AM

云顶-四天三夜

Thursday, December 4, 2008

刚从那四天三夜的云顶华乐比赛
开心？一点咯。。
不爽？一点咯。。

第一天去

有一些期待，本人很久没有去哪儿了叻
最喜欢那儿的凉风，当那超凉的雾透过我身上的每一寸的时候，爽，一个字
第一天有开幕仪式，闷，一个字
大家都累咯！
回房睡觉！房间挺小的
睡前朋友们都不会忘了一场战争
逃也来不及就被拉进去了
一场激烈的战争就酱爆发了

第二天

一早起身
冲完凉
就冲去吃早餐
没想到那儿的早餐

一些的失望

吃完后就回房那我们各自的乐器
就游下去第十二号房练习
练完时大概是午餐时间了
就走去‘旧城市’（old town）吃午餐
哇靠！
要面没面，要面包没面包！
算！吃饭！
几分钟后
我们也吃完了
可是突然
我们五个人
都向厕所冲去
做么？

集体解放。。。^^

那家饭是加了什么？！

算了
晚上就要比赛了
所以为了准备
我们五人都把自己锁在房间里
战争再次发动
可是这次是四人战争
我则坐在一旁听我的歌看我的小说
顺便欣赏这场战争
过了几分钟
四人变成了五人

傍晚我们收拾好心情
比赛来咯！

‘有请编号 XXXX ，为我们带来一首曲子，曲名为-美丽的凤尾竹’

-----八分钟过去了-----

‘谢谢编号 XXXX ，接下来。。。。’

‘哇！刚才真紧张！’
‘喂！为什么感觉怪怪的？’
‘嘿嘿！我刚刚奏得怎样？！’
‘为什么整个乐团好像很小声的？’
‘好高兴哦！’
‘终于过去了！！’
‘可以去玩了！’
‘刚刚我拉得不是很好叻’
‘你又听到我刚刚奏错么？’
‘不能等成绩了！’

各有各的！
赛后就是这样
你说你的他说他的

回房间咯！
我们都累了！
zzzZZZz

第三天

吃完早餐后
有个合奏赛
我们都一定要去
可是我们五人组
听了几间学校后
就偷偷的跑掉了！
去玩耍了咯！

校长没看到！哇咔咔！

过程跳过可以吗？
对不起
本人懒惰了！
如果你要知道的话。。
在留言问我啦！

吃完晚餐后
我们有个表演
昨天的歌
可是今晚
。。。。。。。
我们要死不死的
蛮失望的
嗨。。。。。

回到房间
我们的战场。。
不知几点才睡

第四天

今天就要回了咯
早上去听什么大师班
听到一半
电脑出事
下课十分钟
我们五人组回到我们的房间
说话说到忘了时间
当我们发现时间的时候
十分钟已过了很久！
我们都懒惰了
管它那么多了
我们继续聊我们的
到了十二点多
我们赶着收拾我们的东西
就下去了
没想到我们不是最后的迟到者
可是校长脸是很黑的
过后我们就去吃我们的午餐

我们别无选择
所以我们又去‘旧城市’
这次还好有面了
所以我们都吃面

吃完后
结帐后
拍完屁股后

看看时间
该回去了
可是我和我一个朋友去找他所要找的神秘花园
终于我们也找到了
可是他的重点是

吊桥

不见了
所以他也不是很开心

失望

在巴士上
校长公布了成绩！
大家都很紧张！
结果。。。
我们。。。。
的了。。。。。

金奖！！

大家都在高喊叫!

叫什么？

当然是。。。

校长请吃！！！！！

哇咔咔咔咔！

车上我们有说有笑的！

我们就这样结束了我们的四天三夜

晚上九点才到达学校
爸爸在我和哥去学校对面吃

肉骨茶

很饱。。。

现在很累咯
所以
晚安！

Labels: daily dairy

"until you find me,
7:16 AM